CHAPTER 5: RESET—CAPTURE THE POWER OF NEW BEGINNINGS

CHAPTER 5 SUMMARY

  • The overwhelming attraction of the many forces working in concert to pull us apart suggests that real change in these dynamics will require a substantial reset.

  • One way this happens is through the bombshell effect – when major shocks destabilize the deep structures of ourselves and our communities and ready us for radical change.

  • Three scenarios have emerged for how these shocks can be leveraged to realize radical change – through restructuring by outside strangers, the spawning of entirely new insider species, and though careful synchronization between the two.

  • Another way to reset is to capitalize on the sensitivity to initial conditions of complex problems by prepping for difficult encounters in a way that leverages your first moves.

  • This can be done by checking your assumptions about change, clarifying your intentions, building up the emotional reservoirs for positivity in relations, unexpected framing of encounters, and leveraging the power of time and place.

CHAPTER 5 EXERCISES AND ASSESSMENTS

Toxicity Inventory

Exercise #1

Recognizing Our Own Emotional Reservoirs

Exercise #2

Strategies for Emotional Reset

Exercise #3

Cultivate Positivity and Minimize Obstacles

Exercise #4

Assess Your Own Intentions

Exercise #5

 
 
 
 

CHAPTER 5 IMPLICATIONS

Implications For Your Community

Implications For You

When preparing to reset, consider:

  • Have recent shocks to the status quo readied you to choose a radically different path?

  • What are the basic elements of your own deep structure - the assumptions, values and incentives that determine your basic decision-making processes – that are contributing to the current intransigence?

  • How might adjustments to these make a difference?

When preparing to initiate what you expect to be a difficult conversation with someone in your life, consider the following:

  • Is it possible change the situation you both seem stuck in? Do you believe that they will ever change? Will you?

  • What are your intentions? What, ideally, do you want to come from this conversation?

  • How anxious, stressed and burnt-out are you feeling right now? What might you do to calm or destress yourself?

  • What is the emotional reservoir of this relationship? How much trust, rapport, and joy have you shared together in the past? How much enmity and frustration?

  • How might you broach the conversation in a manner that might increase your chances of it going well? How to frame it?

  • Where, when and how should you have this encounter?

When preparing for a strategic reset, consider:

  • Who are the people, groups and organizations in your community that believe in the potential for positive change in the face of difficult conflicts?

  • Who else in your community has a long history of promoting positive change in difficult conflicts?

  • Who else in your community shares your vision for the types of constructive change you aspire to?

  • Which groups and organizations in your community seem to have a healthy and constructive internal climate?

  • Who else in your community has a solid reputation for reaching out across tense divides and healing relations?

  • Who are the people, groups and organizations in your community who are known to have expertise in setting up and facilitating difficult intergroup encounters?

  • Given the extraordinary ruptures that are currently occurring in our political landscape today, what type of resets do you desire in your home, work and community, which might allow you to take a new direction?